EFUA By Glory Ada

 
My mind was bleak, emptiness surrounded me, I was the only one in the
world,  I mean -  my world. I wanted death but,  death wasn't an
option.  In my bleakness of mind,  I staggered and fell, I didn't land
on the ground...did I?  No!
It was soft,  not just soft,  smooth and,  it held me, didn't want to
let me go.  The ground held me captive,  bound and tied.

I went limb,  numbness knocked me out...... I didn't want to awaken anymore.

I woke up to her eyes,  her tears had drenched me, the mucus gushing
out from her nose like the adiriala stream. She saw my eyes and hers
lit with joy,  but the joy lasted not for I slumped again...

"He raped  her,  he raped Efua, I saw him" Mami screamed at Boma.
I refused to move,  if I did,  they wouldn't speak on..
 "Abasi O, the poor  girl.." I knew it was Ekaete,  she was the only
one who claimed she spoke Calabar.
 I lay still,  eyes shut,  I tried to focus on their conversation but,
 my mind kept wandering.  The numb feeling returned,  I tried to peep
at them unnoticed and again,  her nose was gushing out those things.
 Why was Mami always crying?  I knew this time,  she wept for me,
but...  Boma was saying something,  she said it and laughed ,  only
then  did I understand.
Boma hated me for refusing Larry....
It struck me then..  It was him!
I moved an arm and coughed,  everyone rushed towards  me,

"she is alive! " Mami screamed..

I tried to speak,  my voice was suppressed by some unseen forces..  I
moved my legs and like in the movies,  I whispered his name
" Larry"
"Larry"

Mami turned to look at Boma,  there was something in those eyes.  Her
eyes said "she found out".

Silence befell everywhere,  silence,  but for the whisper from Ekaete

"Abasi mbom".

Everybody in the village thinks I am proud, of course I am meant to be
but, I am not, I am just classy. I am the only child in my village who
attended a high school in the city, its because my mama loves me too
much and she wants me to make something out of my life. Even after my
papa died, I still went to school, my mama over worked herself just
because of me, she wouldn't want want her only child to become an
average person, she wanted excellence and excellence is what she has
been getting.

All the village boys are scared of me, they hardly come close to me,
maybe because of my pride or because they know we are of different
class or maybe because I hardly say hello to them , I really cannot
say , but, one of the boys refused  to acknowledged  our difference,
he never allowed me rest,  he is Larry. He is handsome, very handsome
and smart too, he attended the high school in our village because his
patents were saving money for him to go to a university, they wanted
the best for him too but, my mama might not afford a university, I
have stressed her too much, I can't stress her further.

Larry started coming for me when I was in form 2, he was a class ahead
of me.  That was five years ago, I heard he applied to the University
in Jos ,  he wanted to become a doctor,  the first person from my
village to apply to a university, that must have been what made him
think he was now above me ,  that was what made him have the guts to
enter me.

 Rumors had it that his name was sent and that the University had
accepted him.  Lucky Larry,  he was going to be a doctor.

 I swear, I will go to a university too,  I swear. When I graduate,  I
will come back and rape Larry but when I rape him,  I won't be hard
because , I think I like him.


"Efua, my pikin, they rape my pikin" My mama was screaming from the
gate , someone had told her about my predicament , I was scared, I
didn't want her to die on me.

 "Mami, clean me up before mama comes inside" I whispered to Mami who
did all she could as fast as she could , wrapping me up and putting me
on the bed, all the while , Ekaette kept repeating some words in
Calabar, words no one could understand.

 "My pikin, who rape you?! Who do the thing?!" Mama touched me ,
trying to check if I was in any way hurt..

 "Mama, I'm fine, I'm well" I tried to smile.

 "Who rape you?" My mama was crying.

" I no know" I smiled again, I looked at Mami, Boma and Ekaette,  I
suggested with my eyes that they don't mention Larry's name and they
all complied .

"Efua, why them rape you?" My mama cried in pain.

"Mama, I want to go university" I wanted to change the topic and at
the same time, I wanted to state my interest in the university. If the
university was the way to prove to Larry how much better than him I
am, then I would go there, fight my way through and become the very
best.

 " Efua , you go go, you go see university" My mama tried to speak in
her broken pidgin English. My mama didn't go to school, she picks bits
of English in understanding, she doesn't speak English though.

 "Efua , you want to go to the university?"  Mami smiled, I could tell
she was shocked , All my friends were, we never planned for
university, we had discussed our dreams before and decided that
university was for the boys.

 "Yes Mami, I want to . I have to , I have decided its best" I looked
away. I could tell they knew it was because Larry went to the
university, I felt a little guilty , guilty that I wanted to make a
decision based on revenge.

"Wow, Abasi, this is good" Ekaette smiled, "I won't go to university,
I would marry Akpan, he is a great farmer, he would care for me"
Ekaette's eyes glowed with love. She loved Akpan , a farmer from our
village, they had been dating for almost five years. Lucky Ekaette,
she could afford to love.

 "I will go to Lagos and look for fine man, I will work in a
restaurant , I hate university" Boma said , she was a proud good cook
and she didn't hide the fact that she liked fine men, that is why she
was mad at me for refusing a man so fine as Larry.

 "Which university?" Mami asked. In her question, I could sense a kind
of hope, maybe she too liked the idea of a university, maybe I have
spoken for both of us, I was always her source of strength.

 "A university in Port Harcourt" I smiled, this decisions were made
without thoughts, I had to decide on the spot , I wanted it to seem
like I had thought of it earlier.

"Port Harcourt?" Everyone said at once, everyone except my mama
because she didn't understand proper  English .

 "Yes , I will read law." For the first time, dreams came alive in my
mind, dreams I have had that seemed to have all shades of
impossibility suddenly had a shining ray of hope,  this dreams
included marrying Larry, having a child for him, but I stopped myself,
Larry was a bastard, he raped me.

"Go to Jos, Larry will go there" Mami smiled and sat by me.

"No,I can't, Jos is not too good, I want to see Port Harcourt" I
smiled back. Truth is, I always wished to see Port Harcourt but that
wasn't my major reason.

"Larry says he would transfer to London next year" Boma quietly said ,
like it was a huge secret.

 "London, good" I looked straight at the roof, hurt was tearing me
apart. Now, I would have to go to London to get my revenge back, very
interesting.

"Efua, you no go London abi? You go go Ghana make you see grandmama"
my mama cleaned her tears.

"You would be like a Ghanian, you even bear their name and your
grandmother would gladly have you" Mami touched my hair.

 "No, I can't go to Ghana….." My words trailed off as I remembered
finally how I was raped, it wasn't exactly forceful, the person begged
me , then tried to force me but, I complied, I think I did, I also
think he drugged me, I don't really know…

 "Efua, All this..…." Mami was trying to say something.

 "Larry, I need to see him, its urgent, "  I got up, picking up a
dress and trying to grab my slippers at the same time.

 "Efua, you dey well?" My mama jumped, running around with me.

 "I'm coming" , I said, running out of the compound, Larry needed confrontation.

I ran as fast as I could looking back only to look at Mami who ran
behind me , a friend indeed who never left me alone .

"Efua, wait, wait!" Mami kept screaming as she ran, her breast dancing
with each step.

 I stopped in front of Larry's house and turned towards Mami.

"Mami, go back please, I need to do this alone" I said, my voice loud
enough so she could hear.

 "Efua! Larry has gone already, he left immediately he left your
house, he left a note with me, please wait!" Mami was just shouting ,
I could hardly make out the words.

"He did what?" I whispered as Mami got close enough.

 "He has gone to Jos, you need to calm down , please? He left a note,
read it first, please Efua" Mami was shedding tears again.

I stood on that spot, my head spinning, my legs weak , numbness was
kicking in again and something even more, heartbreak!

I followed Mami to her house, she gave me the note, I read it, it
contained nothing, absolutely nothing, well, except
"I'm sorry it happened that way, I Left for Jos already, I love you, I
would be back to marry you".

What was Larry thinking? I tore the stupid note and threw it away, I
would nurse my heart and I would be stronger.

                         *

Twelve years down the line, Larry returned, all my dreams were
shattered, I didn't go to a university after all, I had a baby to
raise. Don't look so shocked, I was pregnant with Larry's child, I
couldn't go to school , so I stayed in the village and became a
teacher in a town high school. My mama supported me through it all and
I had a baby boy. I gave my baby a Ghanian name, just like mine, his
name is Kwame , I am sure my grandmother is happy about that.

  Well, Larry returned, married to a white woman, he brought her home
and this tore me up the more. I waited for him for twelve years,
refusing suitors, just for him to bring home a white 'oyinbo' wife?
I didn't tell him about our son but, Mami did, she went to the
university, came back to our village and started a hotel service,
she's quite rich but, she still is my friend. Boma went to lagos, I
haven't even heard from her, Ekaette is happily married to Akpan with
three children , but, me, I'm here, all my dreams blown by the wind,
all my hopes dashed.

Im waiting for Larry to show his shameless self here, I wonder what I
would tell him, I wonder how he would face my handsome , smart, eleven
years old Kwame,just how?
I'm thinking of how best to react, what would you have me do? My years
have wasted all because of Larry, I would never let him see my son,
even if it means my death .

Written by Duruem Gory Ada 
Psalmadaobi@gmail.com