Jollof Rice Or No Jollof Rice? By Ola Balogun

A Nigerian man has expressed his disaffection about the controversy trailing the gaffe by the Minister of Information and Culture - Lai Mohammed.

 

 

Dear sir: It is my considered opinion that only a nation of idle folks would find time to indulge in the kind of utterly useless controversy that has arisen of late regarding the supposed location of the best prepared jollof rice in Africa.

             

WHAT THE F....?

 

Have the people of Nigeria nothing more important to worry about? What about issues as pressing as the current massive economic recession in Nigeria?

What about the mind-boggling looting of the nation's wealth by unrepentant criminals who are yet to be jailed because they have had the wherewithal to engage the services of the best legal brains that money can buy to delay and derail judicial processes aimed at bringing them to book and recovering part of the vast sums of money that these ruthless gangsters and white collar armed robbers have stolen from present and future generations of Nigerians?

 

What about the true health status of President Buhari, who appears to be heading for a potentially fatal curtain call in a play that was first staged in Saudi Arabia, Katsina and Abuja a few years ago, while some powerful leading members of his entourage are busy scrambling to stage the premiere of a devastating new stage play entitled "Yar'Adua boju-boju reenactment " episode 2?

 

What about the utter mediocrity of the vast majority of the Buhari ministerial cabinet, who are busing whistling in the wind while Nigeria burns?

 

What about the irresponsibility and cowardice of so-called newspaper editors who would rather devote pages and pages of their mediocre publications to futile jollof rice controversies than focus on some of the issues that should presently be preoccupying the long-suffering people of Nigeria?

 

What about the poor quality of life in Nigeria, a benighted land in which at least 70% of the adult population is currently unemployed?

 

Why have none of the host of bogus individuals who currently lay claim to being editors and publishers of the major Nigerian news outlets so far failed to commission meaningful investigations regarding the utterly deceitful claims to achievement by the immediate past Federal Nigerian Minister of Agriculture, who has so far apparently been allowed to get away with illogical claims of non-existent successful agricultural policies (thanks to a slick and totally stage-managed public relations campaign!) that has now enabled him to land the position of Chief Executive of the African Development Bank, where he continues to spout meaningless rhetoric from behind a collection of bizarre bow ties?

 

What about the need to chase away the gang of rascals and ne'er do wells who currently populate the so-called Nigerian Senate and National Assembly, busily pocketing huge salaries and allowances for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?

                   

Cry the beloved country!

                   

What a pity!

                   

O ma she o!

 

AND WHY SHOULD ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT SENSES CONTINUE TO WASTE PRECIOUS TIME EXPRESSING WORTHLESS OPINIONS ABOUT THE TASTE OF JOLLOF RICE WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS THAT SHOULD BE PREOCCUPYING THE PEOPLE OF NIGERIA?

 

What the f...... is wrong with all the idle folks who are only prepared to bother their heads about rival jollof rice flavors while Nigeria goes up in flames???

 

Is there no space left to house these funny folks in Professor Lambo's famous establishment in Abeokuta for certified lunatics?

                     

Na wa o!

 

Written by Ola Balogun