I started identifying with Nigerian music after the Plantashun Boiz proved you can become famous by interpreting western music in pidgin.
I had this radio on top of the wardrobe - away from the curious hands of my siblings - that I used to record certain tunes I liked on empty cassettes. Then I sold them to classmates with hand-written sheets of lyrics for N10.
Okay that’s a lie.
I only exchanged them for Eyin Alangba and half a block of Tasty Time. On a good day, I got a few slices of peppered Odukun. Never made money from selling that shit.
Nigerian music and sex
Nigerian music is the shit now. That’s a two-way metaphor.
Nigerian music became more commercially viable when record labels like Kennis Music, Mo’ Hits, Storm records and so on, flipped the game and made it attractive.
Then performers like Terry G, Timaya, and a new school of tungbalists came and gave the game uppercut in Lagos. The perverse lyrics, the gyrating beats and mind-controlling show of borrowed affluence turned conservatives into die-hard fans. That's when the demand for lyrics punctuated with s-xual-innuendos tripled.
Some of us didn’t even know the National Broadcasting Commission (NBC) existed until radio and TV stations started getting caution memos for hawking s-x in broad daylight.
Why would you want to play music while shagging?
For a lot of men, the tune, beats or rhythm of a song, help prolong how long they last in bed. You will be surprised that some men even time their thrusts to tally with the beats of a song.
Back in the day, a lot of guys just used music to help drown out the echoes of loud sex from poke-nosing neighbors. Now, it’s more than just hiding the fact that you are knacking a neighbor from your neighbors. Having several s-x playlists have helped a lot of men appear like studs in bed.
Many years ago when I was a student at the Ogun State University, a.k.a Olabisi Onabanjo University a.k.a Gomorrah (Babcock was Sodom), I realized my neighbor, Surveyor was always playing some particular tunes at the highest volume anytime he had a girl over. I went to find out why one hot afternoon and urm.. let’s just say they didn’t see me enter and they didn’t see me leave. Later he disclosed that it helped maintain morale and tripled the number of thrusts he delivered.
I didn't really get it until months later when I chatted with one bad-ass chick on Kobrawap, who told me she could take away my salvation for N4000. I had just N500 and a back-up Nokia phone I could exchange for N1000, so I told her to come over the next day regardless.
I borrowed one kain Ajegunle mix VCD from a friend and without any care in the world, I had shagged to loud secular music for the first time in my life on a Sunday (please don’t shag to Ajegunle music if you are going to release before Sample screams 'Ekwe').
Probably unsatisfied, she brought out her iPod (why do runs girls always appear richer than their clients?), connected the aux and told me to keep calm. We started with a foreign playlist where Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ and R.Kelly’s ‘Slow Wind’ set the pace. We then moved on to Haruna Ishola's 'Apala Disco', Idris Abdulkareem's 'Oko Ashewo' then Black Face's 'Hard Life'. A few more sets later, she became a fountain. We became pretty good friends and experimented with many Nigerian pop tunes over time; some of which I still use when I can (you will be surprised how many of these tunes don't even have s-xual innuendos in them).
I have listed below a few Nigerian sounds that you can comfortably have shag to. You will find that I also included a few tips on how you can achieve over 30 minutes of coitus using all these songs.
Note: A song doesn't have to be about coitus before you can shag to them. A banging hip hop tune can still get you off. Chances you will arrive before the ad-lib of some of these songs are high though. Women are built to last longer than men during scoitus, so don't believe those porn stars. Coitus is arguably 50% psychological, so these tunes in the right environment can help you match any woman and make them orgasm before you do. If you don’t perform well the first time, try and try again till you get it right. Don’t beat yourself up because your John Thomas screamed 'Amen' before the end of prayers, instead work at getting better naturally. Using a s-x playlist during coitus works best with someone you have shagged before, preferably your wife.
1. ‘Ololufe’ by Wande Coal
"..it is you that I want, that I need, you know / do you remember you are the girl for me / it is you that I want that I nee-ee-ed.." - Wande Coal
Unless you are the wham-bam-thanks type, you need to start slow. This song has a way of setting the mood for some women. Mood is key. Some women suddenly become nervous prior coitus, even though before you locked the door they wanted you to rip their legs apart like grilled turkey. So you have to get the mood right. The melody and Wande Coal’s fake promises can help you put her in the right mood.
Tip: Talk in deep low tones, kiss, smooch, fondle.. keep calm and don’t rush her.
2. ‘Ojuelegba’ by Wizkid
"..I am feeling good tonight / this thing gat me thanking God for life / oooh, I can't expla-a-ain / I can't expla-a-ain yaaah.." - Wizkid
For some weird reason, afrobeats and coitus go hand in hand. This song can help keep her interested. Hormones sometimes do not care about lyrics, they are just interested in rhythm and beats. Foreplay can never be overemphasized. You will find that this slow afro beat song is wonderful for foreplay or slow coitus. You will be wise to invest in more foreplay.
Tip: Lengthen foreplay. Smooch more. Slowly undo buttons, clasps and zippers. Keep calm and respect her body.
3. ‘Anaconda’ by D’banj feat. Wande Coal
"..you don't wanna mess with ma Anaconda / when I come through with my Anaconda / everybody move for ma Anaconda / you know what I'm gonna do with my Anaconda.." - D'banj
Since the garden of Eden, women have always had a thing for big snakes. The beat of this song is so bad-ass. The song sells your intention. The lyrics makes your job easier by preparing the mind for coitus.
You see, some women find it sexy when you make them feel wanted by telling them how you are going to temporarily adjust their cervix.
For the gifted, this is the song you want blaring through your speakers when you want to show off your mandingo. If you are not gifted down there, please put the lights off before discarding your boxer shorts.
The tune and rhythm can help keep her interested in what you are about to do to her.
Tip: If you are into oral, try 69-ing to this. Don't rush to penetrate, don’t let konji disgrace you please. Speak life to her lady parts. If she doesn’t return the favor, don’t force it. If she does, good for you. You might come early depending on how much she likes sausages, but she won’t mind/notice if you handle her 6 properly. If you are not into oral, keep smooching, fingering and grinding. Don’t penetrate at all, don’t take breaks. If for some reason you come early, make sure it’s on the sheets and don’t make it obvious (I mean, don’t go manifesting like are you in a Celestial church.. big turn off).
4. ‘Eyan Mayweather’ by Olamide
"..wo ni esu n'gbe nu mi, Hellboy / Look me less and look me well boy / Kala-kala flows I no well boy / My money like garri Ijebu, my money dey swell boy.. " - Olamide
If you are a savage or a yoruba demon, this is for you. This track can boost your morale especially if you spilled your life force early. Olamide’s bragging and the slow ominous rhythm of 'Eyan Mayweather' can keep your blood flowing in the right direction.
Tip: Employ missionary position but don’t penetrate just yet. Be very handsy; have your hands attached to several parts of her body like some hybrid Octopus. Insert your fingers in her and try tasting her G-spot at the same time. Knead her bosom with your other hand while you circle her areola with your tongue, then gently nibble and suck her taut nipples. Pay attention to the beats of the song and work that finger. Then tease her lady parts with the cap of your mandingo, especially if you need to raise your John from the dead. If erect don’t go in fully. Pull out your cap and use your fingers a lot more. If you are still not erect, swallow your pride and ask her to finger your anus. You are probably gay and satan has been trying to tell you since.
5. ‘Comment tu t’appelle’ by LeriQ ft. Burna Boy, Dammy Krane, Mojeed, Ozone
"...for ma ciry dem dey call me Burn B / thick women lookin purfect pretty / Come and give me then I take her with me like ogini longer / Maka gini oya fall down / As I knack am gbaga-gbigi she go cam dan maka follow / then I burst like Marcopolo /..." - Burna Boy
What’s good coitus without a little sweet gibberish? Asides being one of the most difficult Nigerian verses to pull off, you will notice upon careful listen that it’s pure s-xual innuendo, even though to some people it will sound like he's speaking Ikwerre.
Burna boy's opening verse on Leriq's 'Comment Tu Tapelle' can spark some wires in your head during coitus. That verse won me over and ultimately kept the song on my sex playlist since it was released early 2014. Download and see for yourself.
Tip: Slowly penetrate her fully. Keep it in for a few seconds then move according to the rhythm. It’s a 4 minute track, so if you are going to take breaks in order not come early, keep her on the edge of the cliff by throwing in more oral. You can use your fingers or a rabbit (coitus toy) during these breaks as well.
6. ‘Jagaban remix’ by Ycee feat. Olamide
"..I'm the type of boy to go and knack oga madam / and make your daughter want to run away with an Okada man / this is real life, homie this is real life... " - Ycee
This track has a way of raising adrenaline levels. This is the song you play when you want to pack her Jar of Nutella with your 'Eyo' staff.
Tip: Let her ride you in reverse cow girl position. But if you are very adventurous, spread her on the booth of your car, your dining table or on top the washing machine and then occupy her. If you are in bed like a good boy, switch to butterfly or missionary when you realize you are going to spill. Remember to not really take breaks when taking breaks.
7. ‘Bang-Bang-Bang’ by Femi Kuti
"..she said squeeze me now, beng-beng-beng / she said rock me now Femi, beng-beng-beng / beng-beng-beng, I just dey go oh, beng-beng-beng.." - Femi Kuti
You should take the title of this song literally. This is the song you want on during wild coitus. The pace of the beat is bad ass. Femi Kuti's description of one of his conquests should inspire you to out-perform him. If you can maintain the pace throughout the length of this song, your significant other’s volcano might just erupt.
Tip: Switch to doggy. You can first have both her legs on your right shoulder (if you are a big boy) while you pound before transitioning to doggy. Work it fast, don't worry your waist won't break. She should orgasm now unless she's some type of 'Abami-eda'. If you find out she's a 'mammy-water' that has refused to quake beneath you, then take a break. But fill up her vacuum with your fingers or a coitus toy so she doesn’t roll backwards from the hill you have been helping her climb since morning. When you go in again with your 'BRT', jam her hard and fast till she falls off a cliff in her mind.
Bonus Track: ‘Miracle God vol. 1’ by Chioma Jesus or ‘Opelope Anointing’ by Tope Alabi
"..Opelope anointing, aiye e ba ba irawo mi je.." - Tope Alabi
In everything, give thanks to your creator. These tunes can help usher in a cascade of orgasms. Might be awkward for some while some will find it funny. It can also help you announce that you are spent and can’t go another round before they use kpekus to abort your destiny. Remember Proverbs 31 vs 3.
Tip: Do not add to playlist if you intend going another round. Chances thunder will strike you dead if you play this song during fornication is high.
Extras: Some special condoms can reduce your sensitivity and help prolong coitus, use them. Drink water and bathe 30 mins before coitus so you don't have a heart attack or stroke. An air-conditioned room can improve performance - also good for people who sweat as if they've been drinking kai-kai in the sun.
Play safe.
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Written by Oluwatosin 'Breezi' Adesanya
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